E kamaʻilio kāua e pili ana i ka moekolohe, pēpē. Ma ke ʻano kikoʻī, e kamaʻilio e pili ana i nā huaʻōlelo e hoʻohana pinepine ai mākou (ma loko a ma waho o ka lumi moe) no nā pilina olakino a hauʻoli. Ua paʻi mākou iā Rosara Torrisi, PhD mai ka Long Island Institute of Sex Therapy , e pili ana i nā huaʻōlelo āna e makemake ai e hoʻohana pinepine nā kāne (a me nā huaʻōlelo a lākou e hoʻokomo ai i loko o ka waihona).
papaʻai ʻai i kēlā me kēia lā no ka wahine hāpai
ʻElua mau huaʻōlelo e apo nā kāne
'Malia paha'
Hiki i ka huaʻōlelo 'paha' ke wehe i nā kamaʻilio hou a me nā mea hiki, ke haʻi mai nei ʻo Kauka Torrisi iā mākou. E ʻōlelo mākou, no ka laʻana, makemake kāu hoa e hoʻolauna i kekahi roleplay i kāu ola wahine. [Ma ka] ʻōlelo ʻana 'ʻAʻole loa, ʻaʻohe ala!' Hoʻopau ʻoe i kāu hoa a me kekahi mea leʻaleʻa a me ka ulu ʻana, wahi a Kauka Torrisi. Akā ʻo ka ʻōlelo paha hiki iā ʻoe ke kamaʻilio e pili ana i ke kumu i makemake ai lākou, no ke aha lākou e makemake ai e hana pū me ʻoe a no ʻoe e ʻimi i nā mea āu e hauʻoli ai. A hey, ʻoluʻolu loa inā ʻike ʻia ʻaʻole ʻo ka pāʻani hoʻohālike ʻaʻole kāu mea. Akā ma ke kamaʻilio ʻana no ia mea, hiki iā ʻoe ke aʻo i kekahi mea e pili ana i kāu hoa a loaʻa paha i kahi mea hou e hauʻoli pū ai.
'Compersion'
E haʻi ʻia ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, ʻaʻole mākou i lohe i ka huaʻōlelo 'compersion' ma mua akā makemake mākou i ke ʻano o ia mea: ke kū'ē i ka lili. ʻO ka hoʻohālikelike e pili ana i ka manaʻo ʻana i ke aloha i kāu hoa i ka wā e hauʻoli ai lākou i kekahi mea a i ʻole kekahi, wehewehe ʻo Kauka Torrisi. Hoʻohana mau ʻia kēia huaʻōlelo e ke kaiāulu polyamory e wehewehe i kou manaʻo ke kaʻana like kāu hoa i ka manawa a me ka moekolohe me kekahi, akā hiki i kona manaʻo ke hoʻonui i waho o ka lumi moe. ʻIke pinepine mākou i ka hoʻokūkū no kā mākou mau hoa i ka wā e leʻaleʻa ai lākou i ka manawa me kā lākou hoaaloha maikaʻi loa a i ʻole lākou e ʻoliʻoli me ka hauʻoli ma hope o ka lanakila ʻana i kahi pāʻani pōpeku, wehewehe ʻo Dr. Torrisi. ʻO kēia manaʻo hauʻoli no kekahi kanaka ʻē aʻe ke ʻano maʻamau, akā he mākaukau nō hoʻi e hiki ke (a pono) e mahi ʻia. No laila ma mua o ka hilinaʻi ʻana i ka lili a i ʻole ka huāhuā i ka manawa aʻe e leʻaleʻa ana kāu hoa i kahi mea ʻaʻole pili iā ʻoe (inā paha e nānā ana i kahi ʻāpana o Cobra Kai a i ʻole ke kamaʻilio ʻana me kahi barista nani), e hoʻāʻo e hoʻomaʻamaʻa i ka compersion-e hauʻoli ʻolua no ia.
ʻElua mau huaʻōlelo e hōʻalo nā kāne
'mau' a 'aʻole loa'
pehea e pale ai i ka hāʻule lauoho no ka wahine
ʻAʻole lākou e ʻae i ke kamaʻilio hohonu a ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi. Hiki ke hōʻeha kēia mau ʻōlelo no ka mea ʻaʻole maoli lākou (ʻo kāu hoa pili maoli aole loa hana i nā kīʻaha? ʻO ʻoe maoli nō mau ka mea nāna i hoʻomaka i ka moekolohe?) a ʻaʻole e ʻae i kekahi nuance. ʻO ka mea nui, inā ʻoe e ʻimi nei i hoʻololi (e like me ke noi ʻana i kāu hoa e hoʻonui i kāu mau moe kolohe a i ʻole e lawe wale i ka ʻōpala pōʻino), ʻo ka haʻi ʻana i kekahi e hana mau lākou [a ʻaʻole loa] e hana i kēia mea ʻaʻole ia e ʻae iā ia i wahi no ka ulu ʻana. ʻO ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, alakaʻi kēia mau ʻōlelo i nā hoʻopaʻapaʻa ma mua o nā kamaʻilio koʻikoʻi. Akā, e ho'āʻo e wehewehe iā lākou i ke kumu e ʻeha ai kā lākou hana a i ʻole kekahi mea āu e makemake ai e hoʻololi, a i ʻole he aha kāu makemake e hana ai.
PILI: ʻO 2 mau huaʻōlelo a ka mea hoʻomaʻamaʻa kāne e ʻōlelo ai e hoʻopakele i kāu male (a me 2 e hoʻokomo i loko o ka Vault)
