Manaʻo kaʻu kāne iā ia iho he mea o ka fashion-maven a loaʻa mau kona manaʻo i kaʻu mea e ʻaʻahu ai. Ke koho au i kapa jeans, nīnau mai ʻo ia iaʻu, 'ʻAʻole anei kēlā mau kau hope loa?' Ke komo au i kahi pālule, 'ʻAʻole anei ia he ʻoki haʻahaʻa?' Ke hakakā nei mākou no ia mea i nā manawa āpau, a ʻO ka hopena wale nō ia i ke kaniʻuhū ʻana a me ka ʻōlelo ʻana, 'OK, ʻoiai. ' Pehea e hiki ai iaʻu ke hoʻokuʻu iā ia, a hoʻomau i ke komo ʻana i nā lole aʻu i aloha ai?
Ke hele mai nei ke ʻano o kāu kāne ma ke ʻano he kaohi, ʻaʻohe kānalua. Aia paha ke kumu kumu (e hele mākou i kēlā), akā ʻo ka mea ʻoiaʻiʻo: ʻAʻole ʻoe e ʻaiʻē i ka wehewehe ʻana i ke ʻano āu e koho ai e ʻaʻahu i kou kino, ʻoi aku hoʻi i kahi hoa hana e kūkulu iā ʻoe ma mua o ke kikeke ʻana iā ʻoe. iho. Hauʻoli wau i kou ʻike ʻana ʻaʻole maikaʻi kāna ʻano, a ʻaʻole makemake e hoʻololi i kou ʻano.
hoʻoikaika kino e hoʻemi i ka momona o ka pūhaka
Akā, no ka mea he kanaka kēia āu i aloha ai a hoʻoholo e hoʻolilo i kou ola me, e kamaʻilio mākou e pili ana i kāu hoʻoponopono ʻana i kēia - me kahi ʻaoʻao ʻelua.
KaʻAnuʻu Hana 1: E haʻi iā ia pehea kāna mau ʻōlelo e manao oe .
He mea nui iā ʻoe e wehewehe i ka hopena o kāna mau ʻōlelo iā ʻoe me ka naʻau, ma mua o ka hakakā ʻana e pili ana i ka pālule a kāmaʻa paha i nīnau ʻia. (ʻOiai ua loaʻa iaʻu - makemake ʻoe e pale aku i kēlā mau leʻaleʻa, retro clogs!) Ma hope o nā mea a pau, ʻo ka huhū ka hopena lua i kahi ʻeha i lalo, a ma kēia hihia, he mea ʻeha ke makemake ʻole kāu kāne i kāu mea e ʻaʻahu ai. Mai hilinaʻi i kāu mau koho a i ʻole e hoʻāʻo nei e mākaʻi i kou kino. ʻAʻohe ala e hōʻailona ai i ke aloha, kākoʻo a me ka hoihoi.
E hōʻoia ʻoe e hōʻike maopopo i kou mau manaʻo. He mea like paha ia, e Babe, he mea ʻeha loa iaʻu ke ʻōlelo ʻoe i kēlā, ma ke koho ʻana i kekahi mau jeans a i ʻole blouse, ke hana hewa nei wau. A i ʻole, manaʻo wau e hoʻomalu ʻia ke hana ʻoe i nā manaʻo e pili ana i koʻu mau lole a pau; me he mea lā ʻaʻole ʻoe i hilinaʻi iaʻu, a i ʻole manaʻo wau e kono ana i ka nānā. E ʻike ʻo ia ʻaʻole kēia he kuha liʻiliʻi. Akā, ʻo kāna mau ʻōlelo ke kumu i kahi ʻeha maoli i kāu pilina. E koa. E pilikia.
KaʻAnuʻu Hana 2: E nīnau pehea kāu e ʻaʻahu ai pili iā ia .
Akā, e nīnau mālie iā ia, ma waho o ka hoʻopaʻapaʻa. I nā huaʻōlelo ʻē aʻe, mai ʻōlelo ʻoe i ka hoʻi hou ʻana o ka maka, e like me, Omg, no ke aha ʻoe e mālama ai? akā, ma ke ʻano he nīnau maopopo a pololei: He aha kāu e hoʻopilikia nui ai i kēia mau jeans? Makemake au e ʻike inā hoʻomaka kēia iā ʻoe ma kekahi ala. Hiki iā mākou ke kamaʻilio e pili ana i ia mea?
Malia paha ʻaʻole pili i nā lole, a ʻoi aku ka laulā e pili ana i kou olakino male a i ʻole kāu mau manawa o ke ola. Malia paha ua hopohopo ʻo ia i kāu pilina a ke hoʻāʻo nei e hāʻawi iā ia iho i ka palekana. A i ʻole he pane kēia mau ʻōlelo i ka hoʻololi ʻana i kekahi o ʻoukou, a i ʻole nā mea ʻelua. Ua hele ʻo ia i loko o kahi funk? Ua pā ʻoe i ka hale haʻuki a loaʻa ka hilinaʻi hou aʻe? Inā maikaʻi kou ola a ke ʻimi nei ʻo ia, e hopu ana paha ʻo ia i nā mea hoʻokele e hoʻopaʻa iā ʻoe, me he mea lā ua hopohopo ʻo ia e ulu ʻoe i nā ʻēheu a lele aku.
A laila, ʻoiaʻiʻo, aia paha ka pili ʻana o kēia me kahi ʻano ʻokoʻa o ka palekana: ʻO ka ʻoiaʻiʻo e ʻike ʻo ia iā ʻoe ma ke ʻano he hoʻohālike iā ia iho a me kona kūlana pili. ʻAʻole kūpono kou pālule i ka hui ʻāina āna e makemake ai e hele? Ke hopohopo nei ʻo ia ʻaʻole ʻoe e ʻaʻahu nani no kāna mau hoa mele hou? Once oe kaomi ia ia ma ka no ke aha mai Ma hope o kāna mau ʻōlelo, ʻike paha ʻo ia i ka hewa (a me ka ʻeha) o kāna mau ʻaoʻao. A hoʻomanaʻo iā ia i kou aloha iā ia iā ia, ʻaʻole no kekahi mea ma ka ʻili.
ʻIke wau he paʻakikī kēia. Akā i ka pilina, ʻo ka vulnerability ka pane. Inā hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻokokoke i kēia kamaʻilio me ke aloha nui, manaʻo wau hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻopau loa i kēia mau ʻōlelo.
ʻO Jenna Birch ka mea kākau o The Love Gap: A Radical Plan to Win in Life and Love , he alakaʻi ka launa pū ʻana a me ka pilina no nā wāhine hou. No ka nīnau ʻana iā ia i kekahi nīnau, hiki iā ia ke pane ma kahi kolamuPampereDpeopleny e hiki mai ana, leka uila iā ia ma jen.birch@sbcglobal.net .
PILI: Manaʻo Kuʻu Kane Ua nele au a ʻaʻole au i lohe ʻia. Ma hea mākou e hele ai mai ʻaneʻi?
leo ʻili ʻole a puni ka waha
