I ka pūnāwai i hala, ua hoʻomaka wau i kahi papahana me kahi hoa hana. Ua ʻōlelo ʻo W ua hana pu pili loa no ka mea ma luna o ʻumi hola o ka lā, a he mea ia mākou ʻelua makemake nui ia. Ma ka hāʻule, kaʻana like i nā manaʻo a me nā moeʻuhane i ka lā a pau, i kēlā me kēia lā lā, pili i ka mea aʻu e manaʻo nei he pili pili kino (mau kikokikona, leka uila, etc.). ʻO ka hope…mākou moe pu ma hope ka wiwo ole a me ke akamai hahai ana nā mea inu ma hope o ka lā hoʻomaha. He male maikaʻi kā māua me kaʻu kāne. He poʻe kamaʻilio ākea mākou, a hānai mākou i kā mākou mau keiki me ka manaʻo nui o ka hui pū ʻana, akā aia kekahi mea i kēia manawa. Ua manaʻo wau i nā mea me kaʻu hoa hana aʻu i ʻike ʻole ai no ka manawa lōʻihi . Eia naʻe, I am pau me ka hewa. Pehea wau e hoʻomaka ai e noʻonoʻo maikaʻi he aha kaʻu i hana ai? Ua ʻōlelo ʻo W He aha kaʻu e hana ai ma hope?
Hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻi mai i kēia, akā pono ka makemake nui e alualu i kāu kāne a me kāu mau pilikia ma ke ākea a me ka ʻoiaʻiʻo. No ka neʻe ʻana me kāu male, e lawe pū ʻia ka lokomaikaʻi o ke kala ʻana o kāu kāne. ʻO ka neʻe ʻana mai kou hewa e lawe i ka lokomaikaʻi iā ʻoe iho.
He aha ka hana aʻe
ʻAʻole hiki ke kiʻi i ka hua o no ke aha mai ua hana ʻoe i kāu hana ma o hoʻokahi nīnau. Manaʻo nui wau e hana pū me kahi lāʻau lapaʻau e hoʻomaopopo i kāu no ke aha mai . No ka noʻonoʻo paha? Ua like nā hana me ka pāʻani hale no nā mākua: Loaʻa iā mākou nā mea leʻaleʻa a pau o ka pilina me ka ʻole o ke kaumaha o ke ola maoli - nā ʻauhau, nā ʻoihana, nā kīʻaha leaky. A i ʻole he pono ke ʻike, lohe ʻia, ʻike ʻia? A i ʻole no kou aloha maoli ʻana i kēia hoa hana?
ʻO ka hoʻomaopopo ʻana i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo impetus-ʻoiai inā he mea ʻaʻole ʻoe makemake e hōʻoia iā ʻoe iho-e kōkua iā ʻoe e lanakila i kou hewa a kūkulu hou i nā mea āu e makemake ai e kūkulu hou (a luku paha). ʻO ka ʻimi ʻana a me ka hoʻomaopopo ʻana i ka mea āu e makemake ai he mea weliweli. Akā ʻo ia ka mea nui loa āu e hana ai e hoʻomaka ai e neʻe.
ʻO ka haʻi a i ʻole ka haʻi ʻana
ʻAʻole hiki iaʻu ke haʻi aku iā ʻoe inā e haʻi ʻoe i kāu kāne a i ʻole. Ke manaʻoʻiʻo nei au i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo—Akā— ʻAʻole wau e haʻi iā ʻoe Pono ʻoe e haʻi i kāu kāne i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, no ka mea, ʻaʻole lawa kaʻu ʻike i kāu kāne. ʻAʻole wau ʻike i kāna kemika moʻomeheu. ʻAʻole au i ʻike i ka mea maoli ma waena o ʻolua. ʻO kaʻoiaʻiʻo, ʻo ke ala wale nō e hiki ai iā ʻoe ke haʻi iā ia inā ʻike ʻoe hiki iā ia ke hoʻōla. Inā ʻaʻole hiki iā ia, ʻaʻole maopopo iaʻu ʻoi aku ka waiwai o ka ʻoiaʻiʻo ma mua o kēia degere o ka hilinaʻi wāwahi. ʻO kēia wale nō ka mea hiki iā ʻoe ke ʻike, a kala wau i ka waiho ʻana iā ʻoe e kau ana pēlā.
ʻO kāu mau koho
Eia kaʻu mea hiki hai aku ia oe. Ke pili i kāu male ʻana, loaʻa iā ʻoe ʻekolu mau koho: Hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻopau i kāu male; hiki iā ʻoe ke ʻae i kāu male ʻana; a i ʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke hana i kāu male.
Inā ʻoe e hilinaʻi nei i ka helu ʻekahi, e hoʻohana i kēia hoʻomaʻamaʻa: I ka hiki ʻana i kāu hoa hana, e hoʻāʻo i kāu darndest e hoʻomanaʻo pono iā ʻoe iho me kēlā me kēia ʻano maikaʻi e hiki mai ana kahi ʻano e helu ai. ʻO kekahi e hana ana i nā hola lōʻihi me ka nui o ke kaʻa, ʻaʻole ia ka hoa hana āu e pono ai e hānai i nā keiki. ʻO kekahi mea āu e kaʻana like ai i ka nui o ka pilina pili pū kekahi me ia āu e hakakā nui ai. Loaʻa paha i kekahi mea āu e makemake nui nei i ke kino i ka hoʻoikaika naʻauao āu e pono ai. Ke hele nei ka papa inoa. ʻAʻohe mea a pau. (Ua aʻo mua ʻoe i kēia mai kāu kāne.) E hoʻāʻo e ʻike i nā pōʻino o kou ola me kāu hoa hana, no ka mea, pono ʻoe e ʻike ʻaʻohe pilina maʻemaʻe.
Akā, i ka heluhelu ʻana i kāu nīnau, me he mea lā ʻaʻole ʻoe e hilinaʻi nei i ka hoʻopau ʻana i kāu male ʻana, no laila ke manaʻo nei au ʻaʻole ʻoe e kau i kēia hihia ma luna o kahi paepae, a ʻoi aku kou hopohopo e pili ana i ke ʻano o kēia mea e pili ana i kāu. male ʻana.
Hiki paha iā ʻoe ke hoʻomaopopo i kāu hemahema me kāu kāne i kēia manawa. Malia paha he kuko—he wahine kupanaha kāu i ka hoʻomaka ʻana o kāu pilina a ua lilo ia i manawa a i ʻole ke koi. A malia paha aia kekahi pilipili nalo—ʻo ke kūkākūkā ʻana i kou mau manaʻo a me kou mau moeʻuhane he mea ia e hoʻihoʻi ʻia i nā keiki a me nā hana a me nā haunaele maʻamau.
Hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻihoʻi i kēlā manaʻo, akā pono ʻoe e ʻeleu a me ka manaʻo e pili ana. I kekahi manawa, ma hope o ka manawa, poina iā mākou e hana i nā mea liʻiliʻi. Loaʻa i kahi pō maikaʻi, kahi e loaʻa ai kahi kahu hānai a nānā pono i ka lilo ʻana i mau hoa aloha ma mua o nā mākua. E hoʻopā i kahi ʻāpana kūlohelohe o kou ola; e lalau i kona lima, e hoopa i kona wawae, e hahau i kona lauoho. Hoʻonohonoho i ka moekolohe . E ʻimi i hoʻokahi manawa i kāu pule e hiki ai iā ʻoe ke hana i ka hana—ʻo ka Pōʻakolu ma ka hola 10 pm, 30 mau minuke ma hope o ka moe ʻana o nā keiki-a e hōʻoia i ka lā maʻamau. ʻO ia nā mea e mālama a mālama i ka pilina.
A pehea ka hoa hana?
Inā hoʻokomo hou ʻoe i kāu male ʻana, e hana i kāu mea maikaʻi loa e kōkua i kāu kāne e hōʻoluʻolu i ka naʻau - ʻoiai inā ʻoe e haʻi aku iā ia i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo. E ʻoki i ka launa pū ʻana me kāu hoa hana ma waho o nā hoʻololi hoʻololi e pono ai ʻoe. ʻOiai ināʻaʻoleʻoe e haʻi aku i kāu kāne e pili ana i ka hihia,ʻo iaʻano palekana paʻa hohonu ka pōhaku kihi o ka pilina ikaika. ʻAʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke koi iā ia me ka hāʻawi ʻole ʻana.
A ʻoiaʻiʻo, ʻaʻole hiki iaʻu ke ʻōlelo hou aku i ka hoʻomaʻamaʻa male. Pono paha ʻoe i ke kākoʻo hou aʻe i ka hoʻokō ʻana i kēia hui (inā aia ʻo ia ma luna o ka moku e hoʻoponopono i ka pilina). ʻO ka male male ʻana he mau hemahema ʻelua, akā ʻo ka hoʻopunipuni kāu koho, a ʻaʻole like, ma muli o kāu nīnau, ʻo ia ka pane i kēia hihia.
He mea kākau moʻolelo ʻo Jenna Birch The Love Gap: A Radical Plan to Win in Life and Love , he alakaʻi hoʻoikaika pili no nā wāhine hou, a me he kaʻi kamaʻilio (ʻae i nā mea kūʻai aku hou no 2020). No ka nīnau ʻana iā ia i kekahi nīnau, hiki iā ia ke pane ma kahi kolamuPampereDpeopleny e hiki mai ana, leka uila iā ia ma jen.birch@sbcglobal.net .
