ʻO nā kaikunāne e hakakā nui ana ka loaʻa kahaha pono , mai nā ʻili mānoanoa a hiki i nā mākau kūkākūkā ʻoi. Eia kekahi, ua ʻike nā mākua Savvy ʻaʻole like ka pilina hakakā ʻole ma waena o nā kaikunāne me kahi pilina pili. kākau Chicago Tribune kahu makua Heidi Stevens. ʻO ka pahuhopu ka loaʻa ʻana o nā keiki aloha ikaika e like me kā lākou hakakā ʻana. Eia, ʻehā mau ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo no ka hānai ʻana i nā hoaaloha maikaʻi loa e kaʻana like i nā mea āpau - me ʻoe.
mea ʻai meaʻai meaʻai meaʻai
kiʻi kupicoo/GettyE hakakā akamai i mua o lākou
Ke mālama nā mākua i ka hakakā a me ka huhū me kekahi i kekahi ma ke ʻano olakino a mahalo, ke hoʻohālike nei lākou i ke ʻano o kā lākou mau keiki. Inā hoʻopaʻa ʻoe i nā puka, hoʻomāinoino a i ʻole, nā mea hale maoli, he ala palekana e hoʻohālike lākou iā ʻoe i ka manawa aʻe e paʻi kekahi i kā lākou pihi. Hoʻohui ʻia ka mea hoʻoikaika e paʻi ma luna o ke kāʻei (manaʻo)? ʻAʻole hiki i nā keiki ke mālama i nā mea huna. E nīnau aku i ka mea i make i loko liʻiliʻi i ka wā i haʻi aku ai kāna keiki i ka niho niho pehea i hoʻolei aku ai ʻo Māmā i kāna sanwiti hua manu iā Pāpā.
PILI: Eia pehea e hoʻopau koke ai i kahi hakakā ma nā ʻanuʻu 5
iwakālua20Ke kānalua ʻoe, e hoʻoponopono iā lākou
Inā ʻaʻole e komo nā hakakā a kāu mau keiki i ke aupuni o ka hoʻokahe koko a i ʻole ka hoʻoweliweli, a i ʻole lākou i paʻa i kahi ʻano i manaʻo ʻia e hoʻomalu mau ke keiki makua i kahi ʻōpio, e hāʻawi iā lākou i hoʻokahi minuke ma mua o kou komo ʻana. Wahi a ka poʻe akamai, ʻo ka hakakā ʻana o nā kaikunāne he manawa kūpono no ka ulu ʻana. Hoʻomau wale ka hoʻoulu ʻana i ka lauoho i ko lākou hilinaʻi iā ʻoe ma ke ʻano he mea hoʻoponopono. Eia kekahi, ʻo ka hele ʻana i loko, ʻo ia ke ʻano o ka lawe ʻana i nā ʻaoʻao - he ala ʻoiaʻiʻo e hoʻoulu ai i ka hoʻokūkū hoahānau. ʻOi aku ka paʻakikī o ke kau ʻana i hope a nānā i nā kūlana o ka naʻau ma mua o ka hoʻāʻo ʻana e hoʻoponopono i nā pilikia no kāu mau keiki ma ia wahi, i kākau ai ka loea makua ʻo Michelle Woo, me ka haʻi ʻana i ka noiʻi e pili ana i ka lilo ʻana o nā keiki ma Kelemania a me Iapana i ka hilinaʻi iā lākou iho ma o ka hoʻoponopono pilikia ma waena o lākou. . ʻO ka mea e pono ai [nā keiki] he alakaʻi mau, kahi e ʻimi ai i ko lākou mau manaʻo, he kumu hoʻohālike o ka lokomaikaʻi. ʻO ka mea a lākou e pono ʻole ai, ʻo ia ka mea hoʻoponopono e nānā i kēlā me kēia pāʻani. E like me Jeffrey Kluger, ka mea kākau o ʻO ka hopena o nā kaikunāne: ʻO ka mea i hōʻike ʻia e nā pilina ma waena o nā kaikunāne e pili ana iā mākou , haʻi aku iā NPR : ʻO kekahi o nā hopena koʻikoʻi i loaʻa i nā kaikaina iā ʻoe, ʻo ia kahi o nā mākau hoʻoholo hakakā, ʻo ia kahi o ka hoʻokumu ʻana a me ka mālama ʻana.
iwakālua20ʻAʻole paha! E ho'āʻo i kēia
Ke hoʻohiki nei ka heluna o nā psychologists a me nā kumu aʻo ma ke ʻano hoʻoholo hakakā i kapa ʻia Nā pōʻai hoʻihoʻi hou . Komo ʻoe i ka hoʻomaka ʻana o kahi hakakā a noi i kāu mau keiki e hanu hohonu a noho mālie me ʻoe i ka pōʻai. (ʻOiaʻiʻo, no ka uē ʻana i nā hakakā banshee, ʻo ka hoʻokaʻawale ʻana a me ka hōʻoluʻolu ka mea mua.) No kekahi mau minuke wale nō, loaʻa i kēlā me kēia keiki ka manawa e ʻōlelo ai i kā lākou ʻōhumu (Nīnau ʻoe: He aha kāu makemake e ʻike ai kou kaikunāne?), a me kekahi keiki( ren) e wehewehe i ka mea a lākou i lohe ai (He aha kāu i lohe ai i kou kaikuahine e ʻōlelo nei?). A laila e hoʻi ʻoe i ke keiki mua (ʻO ia kāu mea i ʻōlelo ai?) a hiki i ka ʻike like ʻana / lohe ʻia nā keiki āpau. A laila, hoʻoholo ka poʻe a pau i nā manaʻo no ka loaʻa ʻana o ka hopena ʻoluʻolu.
iwakālua20ʻO ka ʻohana pāʻani pū, noho pū
ʻOiai - ʻoi aku - inā like kāu mau keiki i ka ʻaila a me ka wai, a ʻoi aku paha ma mua o kekahi mau makahiki kaʻawale, hiki ke hoʻowalewale iā lākou e alakaʻi i nā ola kaʻawale. E hoao mai. E koho i nā mea pāʻani e ʻoluʻolu i nā makahiki āpau (Marry us, Bristle Blocks !), nā hana pūʻulu i nā hopena pule a i ʻole hoʻomaha ʻohana, a koi iā lākou e hōʻike i nā pāʻani a i ʻole nā hanana mele a kekahi. No ka nui o kā lākou hakakā ʻana, hōʻike ka noiʻi i ke kumu no ka manaʻo maikaʻi. Ma kahi o 10, 15 pākēneka o nā pilina kaikunāne he mea ʻawaʻawa a hiki ʻole ke hoʻoponopono ʻia, wahi a Kluger. Akā ʻo 85 pakeneka ma nā wahi āpau mai ka hoʻoponopono ʻana i ka maikaʻi. Ma hope o nā mea a pau, ua ʻōlelo ʻo ia: Haʻalele koke ko mākou mau mākua iā mākou, ua lohi loa kā mākou mau hoa kāne a me kā mākou mau keiki… ʻO nā kaikaina ka pilina lōʻihi loa i loaʻa iā mākou i ko mākou ola.
PILI: He 6 mau ʻano pāʻani kamaliʻi—ʻEhia ka nui o kāu keiki e komo ai?
