ʻIke ʻoe iā ia e like me ka lede ma hope Lean In , akā ma 2015, ua ʻike ʻo Sheryl Sandberg i kahi hanana honua: ka make koke o kāna kāne ʻo Dave. No ka hoʻokele ʻana i ke kaumaha o kona ʻohana, ua nīnau ʻo ia i kāna hoa aloha ʻo Adam Grant, he kanaka psychologist Wharton, no nā ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo e pili ana i ke kōkua ʻana i kāna mau keiki e kūkulu i ke kūpaʻa, ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi i ka wā pōʻeleʻele. Kaʻana like ʻo ia i nā hopena i kāna puke hou loa, Koho B . Eia, ʻeono o kāna mau haʻawina nui i aʻo ʻia.
PILI: ʻO ka haʻahaʻa ma ka Sheryl Sandberg Phenomenon
pehea e wehe ai i ka sun tan mai nā lima
iwakālua20E hoʻomanaʻo iā lākou ʻaʻole ʻo ko lākou hewa ka mea i hana ʻia
Ke hiki mai kekahi mea ʻino—nui a liʻiliʻi paha—he maʻalahi i nā keiki (a ʻoiaʻiʻo, nā mākua) e hoʻokomo i ka hanana maikaʻi ʻole ma ke ʻano he kuleana no lākou. (Ma ka hihia o Sheryl, ua ʻike ʻo ia he mea maʻalahi loa ka pane ʻana ma ka hoʻopiʻi ʻana iā ia iho no ka make ʻana o kāna kāne a makemake ʻo ia e hiki koke iā ia ke hoʻopakele iā ia. ke ola e hoʻomanaʻo iā lākou ʻaʻole e hoʻopilikino i ka mea i hana ʻia a i ʻole - ʻoi aku ka hewa - e kala aku no ia mea a i ʻole nā manaʻo e pili ana iā ia.
iwakālua20A laila, e hoʻihoʻi iā lākou i kā lākou hana maʻamau
Hiki ke manaʻo he counterintuitive, akā ʻoi aku ka wikiwiki o kāu mau keiki e hoʻomau i kā lākou papa hana maʻamau, ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi. Wahi a Sheryl-a me nā keiki psychologists āna i kūkākūkā ai no kēia puke-ʻo ke komo ʻana i nā hana maʻamau ʻaʻole ia e holoi i ke kaumaha, akā kōkua ia i ka poʻe e like me lākou iho. He mea hoohihia. (Per Sheryl, I kaʻu hālāwai mua [i kāna lā mua i hoʻi mai ai ma Facebook], ua huki ʻia au i kahi kūkākūkā a no ke kekona - he hapalua paha kekona - poina wau i ka make.)
iwakālua20E aʻo iā lākou pehea e hōʻike ai i ka mahalo i kēlā me kēia lā
He mea kēia i lilo i mea hoʻomana hou no Sandberg a me kāna mau keiki ma hope o ka make ʻana o kāna kāne. Wahi a ia, me ke kōkua ʻana o kāna kāne, ua maʻa mau kona ʻohana i ka manawa ʻai ma ka papa ʻaina e kaʻana like ana i nā wahi maikaʻi a maikaʻi ʻole o ko lākou lā. I kona hala ʻana, ua hoʻohui ʻo ia i kahi ʻano hou: Pono ʻo ia a me kāna mau keiki e kaʻana like i kahi mea a lākou e mahalo ai. ʻO ka hoʻomaopopo ʻana i nā pōmaikaʻi hiki ke kōkua i ka huhū kaumaha, wehewehe ʻo ia.
meaʻai maikaʻi i ka pō
iwakālua20Akā e hōʻoia i nā manaʻo āpau (ʻaʻole wale ka hauʻoli)
Me ke aʻo ʻana mai iā Adamu, ua kamaʻilio nui ʻo Sheryl i kāna puke e pili ana i ka hilinaʻi ʻana i ka omo. ʻO ke kumu, ʻo ia ka manaʻo he pōʻai ʻino ia e hōʻeha iā ʻoe iho no ka manaʻo kaumaha a hopohopo paha a i ʻole no ka neʻe wikiwiki ʻana i ka wā e hiki mai ana kekahi mea ʻino. Ua hoʻomanaʻo ʻo Sheryl i kāna mau keiki i kēia. Ua kau ʻo ia i kahi papa inoa o nā lula ʻohana me ka lula helu ʻekahi: E mahalo i kou mau manaʻo. ʻO ka pahuhopu ke aʻo ʻana iā lākou e hiki mai ana ke kaumaha ma luna o lākou i nā manawa ʻino, e like me ke kula, a i ka wā e hana ai, hiki iā lākou ke hoʻomaha, wehewehe ʻo ia.
iwakālua20E haʻi iā lākou i kēlā me kēia lā e aloha ʻoe iā lākou a he mea nui lākou
Ua ʻae ʻo Sheryl he mea maʻalahi ke poina e hana i kēia, ʻoiai ke nalowale ʻoe i kou kaumaha. Akā ʻo ka ʻōlelo ʻana i ke aloha iā ʻoe a me ka hoʻomanaʻo ʻana iā ʻoe e ʻike i nā mea a lākou e hana ai hiki ke pale iā lākou mai ka haʻalele ʻana i ka wā paʻakikī.
iwakālua20ʻO ka mea nui, mai haʻalele i ka hala
ʻO kekahi o nā makaʻu nui loa o Sheryl, ʻo ka liʻiliʻi o kāna mau keiki e hoʻomaka ai lākou e poina iā Dave. ʻO kāna hoʻonā? Ua loaʻa iā ia kāna mau hoaaloha a me kāna mau hoahana e hoʻopaʻa i nā wikiō a lākou e hoʻomanaʻo ai iā ia. Ua hoʻopaʻa pū ʻo ia i kāna mau keiki i kā lākou hoʻomanaʻo, a paipai iā lākou e kamaʻilio ākea e pili ana iā ia ma ka home. Wahi a Sheryl, ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o nā keiki me ka ʻike ikaika i kā lākou mōʻaukala. A ʻo ke kamaʻilio manuahi e pili ana i nā hoʻomanaʻo—ʻo nā mea paʻakikī hoʻi—hiki ke kōkua iā lākou e pili i kahi mea nui aʻe ma mua o lākou.
PILI: 6 mau ala e hoʻihoʻi hou ai mai ka ʻeha makua
