I ko ʻoukou hui mua ʻana, ua like ia me ka moʻolelo Nicholas Sparks. (Ua lawe mai ʻo ia iā ʻoe i nā rosa a me nā truffles! Ua paʻa ʻo ia i ka puka no ʻoe! Ua nānā ʻo ia i nā hōʻike TV ʻoiaʻiʻo me ʻoe, ʻo nā mea hilahila maoli nō!) Akā i kēia manawa ua hui ʻoe no kekahi manawa, ʻaʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke haʻi inā ʻo kāu He mea maʻamau loa ka hiccups o ka pilina a i ʻole he maikaʻi ʻole nā hakakā āu e hana nei. No ka mea i ka wā e pili ana i ka roller coaster o nā pilina, hiki ke paʻakikī ke ʻike i nā hōʻailona o ka ʻona.
ʻAʻole ia he mea maʻamau no ka poʻe i loko o nā uniona maikaʻi ʻole e hana i nā kumu no kā lākou (a i ʻole kā lākou hoa) hana a i ʻole e hōʻole i ke ʻano o nā mea. Akā inā pili mau ʻoe i nā manaʻo o ka lili, ka palekana a i ʻole ka hopohopo, a laila e hele paha ʻoe i ka ʻāina luku. Eia kekahi ala ʻē aʻe e haʻi ai inā pili ʻoe i ke aloha ʻawaʻawa: ʻO ka pilina olakino e hōʻoluʻolu ai ʻoe a hoʻoikaika ʻia, akā naʻe nā pilina ʻawaʻawa e haʻalele iā ʻoe i ke kaumaha a me ke kahe. A he mea weliweli paha ia. In he haʻawina lōʻihi i hahai ma mua o 10,000 mau kumuhana, ua ʻike nā mea noiʻi ua ʻoi aku ka nui o ka poʻe i komo i loko o nā pilina maikaʻi ʻole no ka hoʻomohala ʻana i nā pilikia o ka naʻau (me kahi hanana puʻuwai make) ma mua o ka poʻe i pili ʻole i ka maikaʻi ʻole. ʻAe. ʻOiai ʻaʻole hiki i ka pilina ke hauʻoli a me ka hakakā ʻole i nā manawa a pau, pehea ʻoe e ʻike ai inā maikaʻi ʻole kāu? Eia, ʻehiku mau ala e haʻi ai inā aia ʻoe i kahi kūlana ʻona.
PILI: 6 HUAOLELO E HA'A'I I KE KANAKA ONA E HOOLOHE I KE KULANA
1. Ke hāʻawi nei ʻoe ma mua o kou lawe ʻana.
ʻAʻole mākou e manaʻo i nā mea waiwai a me nā hana nui, e like me kēlā mau rosa a me nā truffles. He mea hou aʻe e pili ana i nā mea liʻiliʻi noʻonoʻo, e like me ka ʻoki ʻana i kou kua me ka noi ʻole ʻia, lawe ʻana i ka manawa e nīnau e pili ana i kou lā a i ʻole ke kiʻi ʻana i kāu ice cream punahele ma ka hale kūʻai—no ka mea. Inā ʻo ʻoe wale nō ka mea e hana i nā mea kūikawā no kāu hoa a ʻaʻole ʻo ia e hoʻihoʻi a hoʻihoʻi i ke ʻano (ʻoiai inā ua haʻi mua ʻoe he mea kēia āu e makemake ai), ʻo ia paha ka manawa e e nānā pono i ka pilina.
2. Manaʻo ʻoe i ka hopohopo inā ʻaʻole ʻoe i hui pū.
Ke hoʻolimalima ʻoe i kekahi mau hola mai kāu hoa pili, ʻike ʻoe iā ʻoe iho e nānā ana i kāu kelepona, pilikia ʻoe i ka hoʻoholo ʻana iā ʻoe iho a hopohopo e hele hewa kekahi mea. ʻOiai ua manaʻo mua paha ʻoe he kumu kēia pono e hui pū (ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o nā mea a pau inā ʻolua wale nō, e ʻoluʻolu ana ma luna o kahi moe), ʻaʻole kēia ka hihia, wahi a ʻO Jill P. Weber, Ph.D. Inā noʻonoʻo mau ʻoe iā ʻoe iho, he hōʻailona paha ia e paʻa ana kāu hoa i kou ola-a me nā hoʻoholo āu e hana ai-ma kahi ala ʻawaʻawa.
3. Hoʻopaʻapaʻa ʻoe no ka mea like i kēlā me kēia pule.
ʻAʻole ʻo ia e lawe i ka ʻōpala. Ua luhi mau ʻoe i ka hele ʻana i ka Pōʻalima. ʻAʻole pili i ke kumuhana maoli o ka hoʻopaʻapaʻa, ʻo ka hapa nui o nā kāne he mau hakakā cyclical e piʻi mau ana. Akā inā hoʻopaʻapaʻa wale ʻoe no ka hoʻopaʻapaʻa ʻana me ka ʻole o ka kamaʻilio maoli ʻana i ke kumu nui a i ʻole e hana i nā hana e hoʻoholo ai i nā mea no ka manawa aʻe, ke hele nei kāu pilina i ka ʻāina ʻawaʻawa.
4. Mālama ʻoe i ka helu.
ʻO ke ʻano o ka 'mālama ʻana i ka helu' i ka wā e hoʻomau ai ka mea āu e kamaʻilio nei e hoʻopiʻi iā ʻoe no nā hewa i hala āu i hana ai ma ka pilina, wehewehe. Mark Manson , mea kakau o ʻO ke akamai maʻalahi o ka hāʻawi ʻole ʻana i kahi F*ck . I ka wā i hoʻoholo ai ʻoe i kahi pilikia, he mea ʻawaʻawa loa ka ʻike hou ʻana i ka hoʻopaʻapaʻa like, me ka manaʻo e hoʻokiʻekiʻe hoʻokahi (a ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi, hoʻohilahila) i kāu kāne. No laila ua hele ʻoe i waho me kou mau hoaaloha i ke kauwela i hala, ua loaʻa iā ʻoe ʻekolu mau Aperol spritzes a ua haki i kahi kukui. Inā ua kamaʻilio mua ʻoe a kala aku, ʻaʻohe kumu e hoʻomau mau ai kāu wahine i kēlā me kēia manawa e inu ai ʻoe a me kou mau hoaaloha.
5. ʻAʻole ʻoe i like me ʻoe iho i kēia mau lā.
Pono ka pilina olakino e hoʻopuka i ka mea maikaʻi loa i loko ou. Ke hele ʻoe a me kāu hoa i ka hula, pono ʻoe e manaʻo e like me kou ʻano hilinaʻi, nani a mālama ʻole, ʻaʻole lili, hopohopo ʻole a mālama ʻole ʻia. Inā ʻoe i manaʻo ino aku ma hope o kou noho pū ʻana me kāu uʻi, aia paha kekahi mau mea ʻawaʻawa e hele nei.
6. Ua pau loa ʻoe i ka pilina.
ʻAʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻōki i ka noʻonoʻo ʻana iā ia, a ʻo nā mea a pau āu e hana ai e hauʻoli ai ʻoe. ʻOiai hiki ke huikau ʻia kēia mau manaʻo me ke aloha, wehewehe ʻo Weber he hōʻailona pili ʻona nui kēia. Pono ʻoe e ʻike e lawe ana kēia pilina i kou ʻano holoʻokoʻa, wahi āna. ʻO ka hae ʻulaʻula nui loa? Inā hoʻomaka ʻoe e hoʻokaʻawale i kāu hoa mai kou ʻohana a me kou mau hoaaloha no ka hopohopo ʻaʻole lākou e hoʻomaopopo a haʻi paha iā ʻoe e haʻalele iā ia. E hoʻokaʻawale i kahi manawa iā ʻoe iho a hoʻomanaʻo i ka mea i hauʻoli ai ʻoe ma mua o ka pilina, a laila e hoʻoholo inā he wahi no ʻolua a kou hoa pili e hoʻomau i ka ulu a ulu pū.
7. Manaʻo ʻoe e like me ʻoe ma luna o kahi kaʻa kaʻa.
ʻO ke aloha ʻawaʻawa pinepine ʻo ia ka oscillating ma waena o nā kiʻekiʻe kiʻekiʻe (ka hauʻoli a me ke aloha) a me nā haʻahaʻa haʻahaʻa (ka hopohopo a me ke kaumaha). ʻIke ʻoe i nā kiʻekiʻe akā ʻike ka hapa nui i nā haʻahaʻa. Ma ke ʻano ʻino, ʻo ka hiki ʻole o nā manaʻo koʻikoʻi ke hoʻopaʻa i ke kanaka, e like me ka mea pāʻani lanakila ʻole me ka manaʻo e hoʻohuli ke kāleka aʻe i nā mea āpau, wahi a Weber. E ʻike i kēia hiʻohiʻona a haʻalele i ka holo, ʻōlelo ʻo ia.
No laila inā ua ʻike ʻoe i nā hōʻailona, pehea ʻoe e puka ai i waho o kahi pilina ʻawaʻawa ? ʻO ka hana mua, ʻo ia ka hoʻomaopopo ʻana ʻo ia ka pilina - ʻaʻole oe —he hemahema. A laila, e ʻimi i ke kōkua mai kahi psychologist a i ʻole kākāʻōlelo. He paʻakikī ka haʻalele ʻana i kahi pilina maikaʻi ʻole (e lawe iā ia mai kēia mea kākau nāna i hana) a me ka huli ʻana i kahi ʻoihana hiki ke kōkua iā ʻoe e noʻonoʻo i ke ala maikaʻi loa e haʻalele ai a pehea e kūkulu hou ai i kou ola ma ke ʻano he kanaka ikaika a hoʻokahi. E hoʻopuni iā ʻoe iho me nā poʻe maikaʻi a kau mua i kāu mālama ponoʻī. Makemake ʻoe i kekahi mau ʻōlelo hoʻoikaika? E ae i keia nā huaʻōlelo e pili ana i nā pilina ʻawaʻawa hoʻoikaika iā ʻoe.
PILI: KA MEA ʻAʻole ʻoe e ʻōlelo aku i kahi kanaka ʻona
