Aloha ʻoe i kou makuakāne, akā i nā manawa a pau e kāhea mai ai ʻo ia, ʻeha ʻoe. Ke ʻimi mau nei kou makuahine i kou helehelena. ʻAʻole e hoʻōki kou kaikuahine i ka hoʻohālikelike ʻana i kona ola me kou—a he mea weliweli loa ia iā ʻoe iho. Inā ʻike ʻia kekahi o kēia, loaʻa iā ʻoe kekahi mau hoʻoikaika kino ʻohana e hele nei. Ma ʻaneʻi, ʻehiku mau puke e kōkua paha (a i ʻole e hoʻohaʻahaʻa iki ʻoe iā ʻoe iho).
RELATED: 6 mau huaʻōlelo e ʻōlelo ai ʻoe i kahi kanaka ʻawaʻawa e pale ai i ke kūlana
TarcherPerigeeHoʻopau Hou: Hoʻōla i kou puʻuwai a ʻike hou i kou ʻoiaʻiʻo ma hope o nā pilina ʻawaʻawa na Jackson MacKenzie
Ua lohe paha i ka triangle drama? ʻO ke kumu, he ʻano maikaʻi ʻole ia e hiki ke hoʻomaka i ka wā e hoʻāʻo ai ka poʻe leʻaleʻa maikaʻi (ʻo ia hoʻi, ʻo ʻoe) e hele a kōkua i kahi kanaka ʻona me kahi pilikia i mea e hoʻohuli iā lākou iho mai ko lākou haʻahaʻa haʻahaʻa. Akā, ʻaʻohe mea a lākou e hana ai, ʻaʻole hiki ke hele maoli i ke kumu o nā pilikia o ke kanaka, no laila ke komo nei lākou i kahi pōʻai o ka hoʻāʻo ʻana e kōkua hou aʻe a hiki i ka pau ʻana o ko lākou ikaika ponoʻī, ʻoi aku ka ʻino. I kēia manawa, e nīnau hou ka mea ʻawaʻawa iā ʻoe, e hoʻomau i ka pōʻai. Hōʻike kēia heluhelu maikaʻi i nā mea liʻiliʻi o nā ʻano mea ʻawaʻawa a kōkua iā ʻoe e ʻimi i nā mamana i hiki iā ʻoe ke uhaki i ke kaulahao o ka huki mau ʻia e nā ʻano mea ʻawaʻawa like ʻole.
PicadorHolo me ka ʻokiʻoki na Augusten Burroughs
I kekahi manawa pono ʻoe i kahi hoʻomaha mai nā puke kōkua ponoʻī a makemake wale ʻoe e ʻoluʻolu me kahi mea i hele ma laila. ʻOiai inā ua heluhelu mua ʻoe i ka memoir hoʻomaka mua o Burroughs i ka wā i puka mua ai, pono ke nānā hou aku. ʻOiaʻiʻo, he ʻeha nui kou kaikuahine, akā ma ka liʻiliʻi ʻaʻole i hoʻouna kou makuahine iā ʻoe e noho me kāna kauka a me kāna mau keiki i loko o kahi hale aliʻi Victorian?
HazeldenʻAʻohe Codependent: Pehea e hooki ai i ka hoʻomalu ʻana i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe a hoʻomaka e mālama iā ʻoe iho na Melody Beattie
ʻIke mākou i kou manaʻo: ʻAʻole wau ka pilikia. ʻAʻohe mea pili iaʻu i koʻu pilina ʻona me koʻu makuahine, a ʻo nā mea a pau e pili ana i kona ʻano ʻino. ʻO ka manawa kēia e ʻike ai i nā hana āu e hana ai e hoʻōki i kāna mau ʻawaʻawa ma ko lākou ala. ʻO ka hana mua? E ʻae i ka nui o kāu hana ma kēia pilina a me ka ʻike ʻana i ke ʻano o ka hānai ʻana o kou makuahine i kāu ʻano a me kāu mau pane. ʻO ka puke kūʻai maikaʻi loa a ka mea kākau kōkua ponoʻī e kālele nui ana i ka poʻe pili pili, pili pili pū me nā mea hoʻohui, akā ua hoʻopiha ʻia me nā ʻōlelo aʻo koʻikoʻi no ka poʻe paʻakikī e hoʻonohonoho i nā palena a kū i ko lākou ʻāina.
KakauoleloKa Hale Kianiani na Jeannette Walls
Hiki i nā keiki a nā mākua ʻawaʻawa ke puka ma ke ʻano he poʻe mākua mākaukau a kūleʻa? He hōʻoia ʻo Jeannette Walls e hiki ke pane i ka ʻae. I loko o kāna moʻomanaʻo lanakila nui, Ke aniani Kakela , haʻi ka mea kākau i kona wā kamaliʻi ʻino loa ma West Virginia, a me nā ʻano hana a kona mau mākua home ʻole i ia manawa e hoʻāʻo ai e hoʻihoʻi iā ia i loko o ko lākou mau honua ʻona i kona wā makua. Hoʻokiʻekiʻe? ʻAʻole loa. Ke hoʻoikaika nei, inā he keiki ʻoe na nā mākua ʻona? ʻOiaʻiʻo.
McGraw-Hill EducationKanaka ʻino na Jay Carter, Psy.D.
Ua paʻi mua ʻia i ka makahiki 1989, hāʻawi kēia paʻi hou i nā ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo maikaʻi loa e pili ana i ka hoʻohuli ʻana i nā papa i nā ʻohana ʻona, nā hoaaloha a me nā hoa hana i paʻa mua i ka lima kiʻekiʻe. Ua ʻōlelo ʻo Carter i ka hana ʻawaʻawa e like me ka invalidation, aka hoʻohaʻahaʻa i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe e hāpai iā ʻoe iho. Ke mālama nei ʻo ia he 1 pakeneka wale nō o ka poʻe e hoʻohana i ka invalidation me ka ʻino, aʻo ka 20 pakeneka e hana i ka semi-consciously ma ke ʻano he mea pale. ʻO ke koena o mākou e hana me ka manaʻo ʻole (ʻae, ʻoiai ʻoe he invalidator i kekahi manawa). I ka manawa e hoʻomaka ai ʻoe e ʻike i nā ʻano o ka mea invalidator-a ʻike ʻoe i ka hapa nui o ka manawa, ʻaʻole paha lākou e hana ʻino iā ʻoe-e hele ana ʻoe ma ke ala kūpono e loaʻa ai ka mana o kou mau manaʻo e pili ana i ka pilina.
Puke PenguinKa Hui Liars na Mary Karr
Me nā mākua inu ʻona, maʻi noʻonoʻo, ʻike ʻia nā kāleka e kūʻē iā Karr a me kona kaikuahine. Akā, ua wili ʻo Karr i kāna moʻolelo i ke gula moʻokalaleo (a he mea hoʻomākeʻaka pinepine) e heluhelu ai kekahi e pili ana i kahi makua ʻona. Ke hoʻohaʻahaʻa nei ʻoe i nā pilikia o kāu ʻohana, e hoʻomanaʻo wale i kēia mea nani o kahi laina: ʻO ka ʻohana dysfunctional kekahi ʻohana a ʻoi aku ka nui o ke kanaka i loko.
Hoolaha Hou HarbingerʻO nā keiki makua o nā mākua makua ʻole na Lindsay C. Gibson, Psy.D.
He kanaka makua ʻoe, akā inā ʻoe i loko o ka lumi hoʻokahi me kou ʻohana, manaʻo ʻoe he 12 hou ʻoe. Inā loaʻa iā ʻoe nā mākua ʻona, he hōʻailona nui ia ʻaʻole i hoʻoholo ʻia kāu mau pilikia me lākou. Ma kāna puke kaulana, hoʻokaʻawale ʻo Gibson i nā mākua paʻakikī i ʻehā mau ʻano: ka makua manaʻo, ka makua hoʻokele, ka makua paʻakikī a me ka makua hōʻole. ʻO ka ʻike ʻana i ke ʻano o kā lākou hana ʻana a me ka lawe ʻana i kahi ala noʻonoʻo (e kūʻē i ka manaʻo) hiki ke kōkua iā ʻoe e ʻike i kou mau mākua i kahi mālamalama hou-a ʻike i kā lākou ʻano ʻaʻole pili iā ʻoe.
