ʻAʻohe mea e hoʻopaʻapaʻa i ka pili ʻana i kāu mau makahiki he 20. Loaʻa paha iā ʻoe nā hoaaloha hoʻokahi a i ʻole ʻo kou ola kaiapuni ʻoi aku ka nui o nā pāʻina hale haʻahaʻa a me nā barbecue e hāʻawi iā lākou iho e hālāwai me nā poʻe. (He ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o kou hiki ke hoʻihoʻi mai i hoʻokahi margaritas he nui loa, ʻoiaʻiʻo nō.) Akā, ʻoi aku ka makaʻala o ka mea hao: Nui ka nui o ka nānā ʻana inā ʻike ʻoe iā ʻoe iho i loko o kāu mau makahiki ʻekolu. No ka hōʻoia ʻana, ua koho au i nā wahine maoli-a huki mai koʻu ʻike ponoʻī-e hōʻuluʻulu i ke kumu he nani maoli ka launa ʻana i kāu mau makahiki 30.
1. Loaʻa iā ʻoe ka manaʻo ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o kāu mea e makemake ai
Ma waho o ka papa, ʻo ka pane maʻamau i loaʻa iaʻu mai nā wahine aʻu i kamaʻilio ai, he ʻano ʻokoʻa i ka ʻike ʻana i kāu makemake. E noʻonoʻo e pili ana: ʻOiai inā ʻoe e noʻonoʻo nei i kāu hoa maikaʻi loa mai kou makahiki 12, ʻo ke ala wale nō e aʻo maoli ai i nā ʻano mea nui iā ʻoe ma o ka ʻike. Malia paha ua hoihoi ʻia ʻoe i ke ola o ka pāʻina… a hiki i kou ʻike ʻana i ka luhi o ka mālama ʻana i ka ʻimi mau o kāu ex. A i ʻole e ʻōlelo paha ʻoe ua kiʻi mau ʻoe iā ʻoe iho me kahi mea makemake nui, akā ʻaʻole i pupule loa i nā lā 14-hola kāu S.O hope loa. e huki mau ana. ʻO ka papa inoa holoi lole o nā hiʻohiʻona ʻaʻole ia he pani no nā nuances a me nā paʻakikī o kahi pilina ola maoli - ʻoi aku ka nui o kāu i launa pū ai, ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o kou manaʻo i ka mea e hana maoli ai no ʻoe.
2. A ʻoi aku ka ʻoluʻolu o ke noi ʻana iā ia
Inā hiki mai ka hilinaʻi me ka makahiki, hele pālua ia i ka wā e pili ana i ka pilina. E noʻonoʻo i nā manawa i kou wā liʻiliʻi a pilikia kekahi mea iā ʻoe-ʻo ke kanaka āu e ʻike nei i ka hoʻomaʻamaʻa ʻana i ka kamaʻilio ʻana, a i ʻole makemake paha ʻoe e wehewehe i ka pilina akā ʻaʻole makemake ʻoe e hoʻopilikia i kēlā me kēia kaulike maʻalahi i loaʻa iā ʻoe. ʻO ka ʻōpio iho, loaʻa iaʻu ka nūhou iā ʻoe: ʻAʻole ʻoe e hana nei i kekahi (ʻoi aku ʻo ʻoe iho) i nā mea kōkua ma ka noi ʻole ʻana. ʻAʻole maopopo iaʻu inā no ka mea ua paʻakikī mākou i nā ʻike i hōʻiliʻili ʻia a i ʻole mākou i makemake nui i kahi ʻano DGAF, akā me he mea lā i ka manawa a mākou i paʻi ai i kā mākou mau makahiki 30, ua loaʻa iā mākou. ʻO ka hapa nui o nā wahine aʻu i kamaʻilio ai, ʻōlelo lākou ua ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o ka hoʻopaʻa ʻana i ko lākou mau pono, inā paha e kūkākūkā ana i ko lākou kūlana no ka hānau keiki a i ʻole e hōʻike wale ana i kekahi, ʻaʻole, ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi ʻaʻole au e kaʻa ma kēlā ʻaoʻao o ke kūlanakauhale e hui ai. ʻO Dave & Buster no kā mākou lā mua a hiki iā mākou ke hele i kahi pahu waina mālie ma waena o mākou?
3. Ua aʻo ʻoe mai kāu mau hewa
ʻAʻole mākou e kau i kēia mau haʻihaʻi i hala ma luna o kā mākou exes (koe wale nō ʻo Steve; ʻo ia ka mea i hewa loa). Hiki iaʻu ke hōʻoiaʻiʻo aia kekahi mau manawa i koʻu manaʻo ponoʻī a makemake ʻole e hoʻohālikelike me kahi mea aʻu e pili ana, a i kekahi manawa ua kākau wau i nā poʻe (ʻaʻole paha i kūpono ia) no ka mea ua hewa wau i ke poʻo. Akā ma kahi o ka hahau ʻana iaʻu iho e pili ana i ia mea, hoʻohiki wau e ʻike a hoʻohiki e hana maikaʻi i ka wā e hiki mai ana. E like me koʻu ʻike ʻaʻole e hoʻomanawanui i ka hana ʻino mai ka mea aʻu e kamaʻilio nei, manaʻo wau e paʻa iaʻu iho i ke kūlana like. I ka pilikia o ke kani ʻana e like me ka pou Instagram influencer yoga, puka wale ʻoe i waho e like me kāu i hoʻokomo ai - a ʻaʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke manaʻo e loaʻa ka wehe, ʻoiaʻiʻo a me ke aloha inā ʻaʻole ʻoe e lawe mai iā ʻoe iho.
4. ʻIke ʻoe ʻaʻole e hoʻonele i ka manawa ma nā kūlana like ʻole
E hāpai i kou lima inā loaʻa kahi hoʻopaʻapaʻa a i ʻole nā mea pili aloha ʻē aʻe i kou wā i hala i kauo ʻia ma kahi ʻoi aku ka lōʻihi ma mua o ka pono (* hāpai i nā lima ʻelua *). ʻOiai ʻokoʻa paha kāu mau kumu, noʻu, ʻike wau i kēia manawa he ʻano o ka palekana: ʻAʻole maikaʻi kēia kanaka iaʻu, akā aia lākou i kēia manawa, a ʻo wai ka mea ʻike i ka manawa aʻe e makemake nui ai kekahi iaʻu? ʻO kahi puʻupuʻu maikaʻi o kaʻu mau makahiki he 20 i hoʻomalu ʻia e nā kūlana hou, ʻaʻole maikaʻi a hoʻokō paha, akā naʻe makaʻu wau e haʻalele. A ʻoiai ua mamao loa kaʻu ʻano mai ka hala ʻole (ua maopopo iaʻu ua hiki iaʻu ke ʻoi aku ka manaʻo o kaʻu mea i makemake ai), inā wau i ʻoiaʻiʻo iaʻu iho, ua maopopo loa ʻaʻole loaʻa ia mau pilina i ka wā e hiki mai ana. -hele. I kēia manawa ua ʻoi aku koʻu manaʻo, ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o koʻu ʻike ʻana inā pono kekahi mea e kū i waho-a inā ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o ka haʻalele ʻana i ka moku i ka wā mua. E like me kā Marisa, 33, i ʻōlelo ai: E lilo ʻoe i ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi ma ka wehe ʻana i nā poʻe āu e launa ʻole ai.
5. Loaʻa paha kāu loaʻa kālā hoʻopau
ʻAe, ʻaʻole pono nā mea āpau e pili ana i ka noʻonoʻo ponoʻī a me ka hoʻomohala pilikino - ʻo kēlā mau pono logistical pono e helu ʻia no kekahi mea. Inā ʻoe e hoʻomau mau nei i kāu ʻoihana no nā makahiki he ʻumi i hala aku nei, manaʻolana ʻoe e loaʻa i kahi kālā hou aʻe i ka panakō (e like me kāu mau manaʻo aloha like ʻole). ʻO ia hoʻi ma kahi o ka haʻalele ʻana i ka hola hauʻoli ma ka pahu luʻu kūloko, hiki iā ʻoe ke hālāwai me kāu pāʻani Hinge hou loa ma kahi papa ʻono ʻono hou - a i ʻole e kākau i kahi huakaʻi glamping hiki ʻole me ka mea āu i ʻike ai i ka mahina i hala. ʻOiai inā ʻaʻole pono nā mea, hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻolilo i kekahi manawa e hana i kahi mea hoihoi iki ma mua o ka inu ʻana i ka pia wai.
6. Hoʻonui ʻoe i kou manawa ponoʻī
ʻO ka mea maikaʻi loa e pili ana i ka pili ʻana i koʻu mau makahiki he 30 ʻo ka hoʻi ʻana i ka home ma mua o ka hola 10 p.m. a e hele pololei ana i ka moena moe-hue-TV, wahi a Whitney, 38. ʻOiai ʻaʻole paha kēia e pili ana i ka pili ʻana, no ka mea, hoʻi ia i ka makemake ʻole e hoʻonele i ka manawa ma kekahi wale nō-no ka mea ʻoluʻolu ʻoe i ka noho hoʻokahi. no laila, inā e hoʻopilikia kekahi mea i kou manawa kūʻokoʻa makamae, ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi. Ua ʻike au e hōʻea i kahi lā me kahi hoʻolālā puka—e like me 'Hiki iaʻu ke hui no hoʻokahi mea inu ʻoiai ua loaʻa iaʻu nā papaʻaina ahiahi ma hope,' wahi a Anny, 36. Ua ʻoluʻolu hoʻi au e like me, 'Auē, nani. e halawai me oe! Loaʻa i kahi pō maikaʻi' me ka ʻole o ka hoʻokuʻu ʻana i ka lā no kahi hola ʻē aʻe.
7. ʻAʻole ʻoe e ʻimi i kahi hoa no ka pono
ʻO ka mahalo a pau i ko mākou mau hoaaloha i hui pū ʻia i ka ʻōpio, akā ʻoi aku ka nui o ko mākou ʻelemakule, ʻoi aku ka nui o ka loaʻa ʻana o kahi hoa lōʻihi kūpono ma mua o kou ʻelemakule e hoʻolimalima i kahi kaʻa me he mea lā, ʻaʻole i hāʻawi ʻia. ʻOiaʻiʻo, hui pū kekahi poʻe, hoʻokele pū i ka wā makua a ulu a loli i nā ʻano hoʻohui. Akā ʻo ka hapa nui o mākou e hoʻolilo i kēlā mau makahiki i ka noʻonoʻo ʻana i nā mea wale nō - a i ʻole ka ʻike ʻana ʻaʻole kūpono ke kūpono o kā mākou pilina mai ke kulanui - a puka mai ma kēlā ʻaoʻao me kahi kiʻi ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o ko mākou ʻano a me ka mea makemake mākou e hoʻolilo i ko mākou manawa me. . A e hoʻohewa ʻia mākou inā e lawe mākou i kēlā ʻimi ʻuhane paʻakikī a hoʻopaʻa wale i ka bachelor/ette kūpono e hele ana.
8. Loaʻa iā ʻoe nā ʻike ola hou aku (a me nā moʻolelo hou aku)
Ma waho o nā pilina i hala, ua noho ʻoe ma ka honua no kekahi manawa i kēia manawa, ʻaʻole ia he mea ʻino. Ua hana paha ʻoe i kekahi mau hana like ʻole i kēia manawa, ua loaʻa paha iā ʻoe kahi manawa e hana ai i kahi huakaʻi a ʻike maoli i nā poʻe hoihoi. Ma waho aʻe o ka ʻoiaʻiʻo ʻo kēlā mau ʻike āpau i lilo ai ʻoe i kanaka naʻauao, honua, a puni, hāʻawi iā ʻoe i nā mea he nui e kamaʻilio e pili ana ma mua o ka meaʻai maʻamau o ka lā mua. ma hea ʻoe i ulu ai a ehia mau kaikaina ou —e like me ia manawa i ʻau ai ʻoe i loko o ke ana lalo… SNL ma hope o ka pāʻina.
9. Loaʻa iā ʻoe ka mana hou a i hoʻomaikaʻi ʻia o kāu mau hoa pili
Ma mua o ka noʻonoʻo ʻana i ka wā i hala o kekahi ma ke ʻano he ukana-no ka mea, ʻaʻole anei he ʻike wale nō ka ukana? E like me kou manaʻolana i aʻo i kekahi mea mai kēlā me kēia o kāu mau pilina, ua ulu a hoʻololi lākou mai ka mana o nā poʻe ʻē aʻe. A ʻae, ʻo ia nō ka hemo ʻana. ʻO ka mea i loaʻa i kahi pilina kūpaʻa ʻaʻole i hana maikaʻi ʻaʻole ia i hōʻino i nā waiwai - mamao loa mai ia mea. Loaʻa paha iā lākou ka ʻike koʻikoʻi e pili ana i nā pilikia o ka pilina lōʻihi a ʻike i kā lākou hana ʻokoʻa i ka wā e hiki mai ana.
10. ʻOi aku ka wikiwiki o nā mea, inā makemake ʻoe
Loaʻa ka hapa nui o mākou i kekahi ʻano o kēlā hoaaloha i hālāwai me kāna kanaka ma ka hoʻomaka mua ʻana a pili i ʻeono makahiki ma mua o ka neʻe ʻana a me ʻekolu ma mua o ka hoʻopalau ʻana. Akā inā ʻike ʻoe i kahi āu e launa pū ai i ka makahiki 34—a ʻo ka hoʻokō kāu pahuhopu—ʻaʻole ʻoe e ʻike i ka alahele like. Ua loaʻa iā ʻolua ka manawa e kau ai, no laila e ʻōlelo ai, i nā pilina i hala a me ke ola ma ke ʻano maʻamau, no laila, ʻaʻole manaʻo nā hana aʻe e like me kahi lele. I ka manawa i hoʻomaka ai au e launa pū me kekahi, ua wikiwiki mākou i nā BS āpau, haʻi mai kekahi wahine iaʻu. ʻO nā ʻeha ʻohana, nā leka uila kelepona, ke kinoea hoʻoheheʻe ākea… ʻoi aku ka wikiwiki o nā mea āpau ke liʻiliʻi ka manawa e hoʻopau ai. Ua hōʻuluʻulu ʻia kekahi: Ua hālāwai au me kaʻu hoa kāne i kēia manawa (koʻikoʻi) i koʻu mau makahiki 30 a, no nā kumu like ʻole, aneane maopopo wau ʻaʻole mākou e hui i ko mākou mau makahiki 20.
PILI: 9 mau maʻamau ka launa pū ʻana i loaʻa iā ʻoe (a pehea e hoʻoponopono ai)
